Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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