two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
my shit smells like andre
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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