so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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