I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
