Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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