Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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