I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
