i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
