somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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