so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
