I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
