oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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