OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
