it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i barfeds in our rink
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
