i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
