I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
