Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
