it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
