it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
