I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
