Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Such a big mess for such a small penis
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
