Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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