i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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