Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
