dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
