At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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