i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
