It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
