if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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