I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
