I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
