I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
