This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You may now shotgun with the bride
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I touched a dick in church today
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
