you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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