help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
