We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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