oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
