this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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