he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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