Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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