Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
