Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
