Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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