i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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