Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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