So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
