I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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