She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
