i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
