guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
