i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The power of my boobs compel you
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
