whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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