She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
