Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
More tranny stories later!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
