I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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